The Book of Bill

The Book of Bill

1. In the thirteenth year, on the 28^th day of the eighth month, while I was among the family in the home, the heavens opened and I saw a divine vision. 2. It was the second year of the reign of Bill, 3. and the word of the Divine Coach came to Bill.

4. As I watched, I noticed a windstorm coming from the north – an enormous cloud, with lightning flashing, such that bright light rimmed it and came from it like glowing amber from the middle of a fire. 5. In the fire there were beings that looked like runners, 6. but they had wings on their shoes. 7. Their legs were powerful, and gleamed like polished bronze.

8. One said to me, “Coach of girls, slip on your running shoes and I will train with you.” 9. He said to me, “Coach of girls, I am sending you forth to the track, for the girls are rebellious and have revolted against me. 10. The people to whom I’m sending you are in need of speed, and you shall give it to them.”

11. “But who am I to train them, master?” I thought the words more than spoke them, though I heard them aloud as if I had shouted them. 12. “Do not fear them!”, said the vision, “speak the words I give you, train as I tell you, and they will know you are the coach!”

13. “They are tired, and it is hot!” I offered, afraid of the response. 14. “Tell them, ‘The coach is your strength!’ They will be sore afraid, and they will obey you.” 15. “What work shall they do?” 16. “They must do the golden 800s. Yea, they must pass through the fire, 17. and when they are done they will know you are the coach!”

18. I trembled from my head to toe; such was my fear in these words. 19. “Master, how many shall I give them?” 20. “One at a time, Coach of girls. You will receive a sign when the proper measure has been taken.”

21. “How will I know the sign?” 22. “There will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Walls will crumble, the earth will shake, and the girls will know you are the coach!”

Then he handed me this piece of paper:

Danielle, Carrie, Bret - 3:35

Morgan, Madison, Keeley, Kaitlyn - 3:40

Diana, Lauren, Carlee, Chloe - 4:00

Claudia, McKena - 4:20

Nicole - 4:30

Yeah, it was kind of a buzz-kill for me too!